I don't really have any idea or what I'm going to post on this blog. I just want to post up the feelings I feel inside of me and a slice of my daily life.
I want to discover my true self, cause really I'm not posting to tell you who I am. I'm posting because I do not know yet. Basically I do have a sorta, rough idea of what I will be posting on this blog. It will mostly be contents of my personal life, progression of my life, my ambitions and some exclusive contents.
What I do want out of this, blog, is that I know more about myself:
- What kind of person I become/change into
- Get a more insight of myself
- How I adapt to this world/society
- How intelligent I become day by day
- Discover truly how big or small this world is
- How far my career/life will go
- Me, I, Myself
The way people act changes, as society is looked in different ways, I'm not one to talk. But really being different is harder than you may think. As I live, I see all kinds of people on the internet, places I visit or places from afar doing ridiculous things to either gain fame or want some attention to become famous (attention seekers) and these are usually children. Most people tend to be just like everyone else after giving up on a certain particular goal, that eventually it just becomes their daily lives, blending with everybody else.
There are a few things that I find odd about myself:
- I think in other peoples perspective in all situations
- I have a wise side
- A side I think differently of society and the environment I live in.
I normally put myself in everyone's perspective, a child, boy, girl, man, women and what someone would usually feel if I was in his/her certain position. I don't know why I do this, I just conclude that it has become my habit, something that I do. Sometimes I feel as though my conscious is giving myself a sense of realization of my surroundings, making me think twice before doing anything. That is when my wise side starts ticking the unused clogs in my mindless head. The more I am aware of my surroundings the more I am considerate of what I do.
My dream, my ideals, my principles, my determination, my ambitions.
Currently I do not have a "ultimate" dream that I want to achieve, all I do know are my ambitions.
What I have planned or thought about for the future is becoming an "Landscape Architecture" as well as becoming a professional dance choreographer. Through dancing I want to inspire people, not having a particular goal, I live in everyday society and see reality in many perspectives. By being able to dance I am able to show how I feel about my everyday life growing, meeting new people and the way I experience new/different emotions in life (love). Also seeing so much people around me, pushing me, inspiring me and drive my determination to reach my ambitions. Even without a goal, I dance cause I want to dance. Knowing one day I will hopefully inspire others and leave a legacy behind. Making something that's "non-existence" (myself) exist in life. In-truth I don't mind if I don't make an impact or become "big". As long as I am able to continue to expand my knowledge and learn from other dancers who are willing to teach me. Then I'm happy. Because no matter what, wherever I am in this world even if I have lost all hope. Dancing truly does make me feel happy & when I dance, I dance to my hearts content. Showing people how I "really" feel and hopefully giving them what I want to give back.
And for "Landscape Architecture" with the very few little support I have, I am still hoping, striving and trying my best to at least reach this goal and take the course in the future. Technical drawing, designing houses, parks, urban landscape. A few personal reasons why I want to take this course, mainly cause it's a career path that I really want to do. In numerous ways I do consider myself a perfectionist, as a person I like to be precise with many things I do, clothes (looking neat), dancing, technicality , drawings and many others
I monitor my thoughts, words and feelings because I know they are creating my life.
Despite popular belief, humans on occasion and in the case that it is requested, don't mind to hear the "truth" about their flaws. But no one should stand for unsolicited advise/opinions. So be wary of the person who at the drop of the hat says "I'm honest", because they are not. In their twisted little world they think honesty is synonymous with indiscretion.
It's not often that I find time to sit and contemplate life. To look around me and analyze myself.
It pains me, the person I have become, is the change really a change for good? Do I enjoy making myself feel more unnecessary pain? Do I have to continue to change again, into another person?
Yes, I can't help to think of ways to continue too evolve, to learn more about this world, to become more intelligent. But hey.. I have to get through all of it, to shoulder and endure all I can until the day I have found the one and to see myself at the end.
One Phase:
To truly look around, analyze how far you’ve come and realize that you’re slowly aging. And this all started from listening to old school songs and having a rush of nostalgia hit me.
Then comes that massive slumping feeling knowing one day your own time will be up. The day you share your last breath on this precious earth of ours. It’s inevitable.
But making the most out of the short time you’ve been given, isn’t.
It pains me, the person I have become, is the change really a change for good? Do I enjoy making myself feel more unnecessary pain? Do I have to continue to change again, into another person?
Yes, I can't help to think of ways to continue too evolve, to learn more about this world, to become more intelligent. But hey.. I have to get through all of it, to shoulder and endure all I can until the day I have found the one and to see myself at the end.
One Phase:
To truly look around, analyze how far you’ve come and realize that you’re slowly aging. And this all started from listening to old school songs and having a rush of nostalgia hit me.
Then comes that massive slumping feeling knowing one day your own time will be up. The day you share your last breath on this precious earth of ours. It’s inevitable.
But making the most out of the short time you’ve been given, isn’t.
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